How to have a life without Obstacles & Stress? (Must read for all)

20 May 2015

How to have a life without Obstacles & Stress? (Must read for all)

Greetings from Hitesh! I am happy with your responses to my last post on Success. Everybody has liked the same and it has become the most forwarded one so far. I am sure everybody likes a success without much struggle and obstacles. Today I am going to show you a way to achieve success without obstacles and stress. Yes, 100% without obstacles & stress. But for that you will have to read this post. Let me deal with the Western formula of Success before we go further.

What is Western Formula of Success?

It says – you need to set the goals and achieve them. Let me show you how they set the goals.

1.   Write down – whatever you want to achieve. Write down all your dreams/desire/expectations.

2.   Keep the list for 24-72 hours. After that read each dreams and ask yourself – why do you want to achieve it?

3.   If you can give logical answer to that – go ahead with them or if not, delete from the list. Also see that goals are not countering each other!!

4.   Now for the goals you selected – set the dead line. Find out the mental – physical and spiritual resources needed for that / find out the positive supporters for that / imagine the obstacles you may come across - write down the possible solutions for them.

5.   They assure you – if you follow all the above steps with 100% commitment– you will get what you want!!

If you look at the above steps – they look logical. Most get convinced by this logic and the experts make tons of money for telling you this!! After you come out of the SEMINAR – you feel so motivated that you can put the world on fire!! Next day morning you will have to find out LIGHTER to light the Gas Stove in your kitchen!

Inherent Flaws in Above Method:-

1.  Options & Expectations:- These are the biggest problems acting against your success. More options – more confusion. Moreover, all your expectations are not always logical/legal. More options leads to less focus on the one you select. In the back of your mind – you will always think – what would have happened had I selected the other one. Many investors after investing in stocks – worry about what would have happened had they invested in GOLD / Real Estate or Bank deposits? (100% commitment is a theory and Living Human Beings can’t have it as long as they have options – post marriage affairs are the proof of it)

2.   Your Selected Options As an Obstacles for other options:- If you select one option(goal), it becomes the obstacles for the other options!! Just think. If you have selected to become Doctor, it becomes obstacles to become Engineer or any other option. Your current wife becomes the obstacles for your desire of other women in your life!!

3.   Obstacles in Achieving Your Selected Option or Desire:- Now, you think about obstacles about the options you have selected!! Can you really think about them exactly and correctly in advance? If you think about them at the time of starting – many times the normal guys looking at the obstacles will get fear and leave the goal itself.

4.   People as Obstacles:- Since you selected GOALS – you have made enemies with those who are not supportive to your idea. Just think – that guy is 100% normal – just because you have a goal and he is not supporting, you think BAD about him!! Say you want to spend time with your wife on SUNDAY afternoon and your child want you to play with him!!  Your desire to be with your wife – stops you from being nice to your kid!!

5.   If you follow the total system – you will have mental anxiety / worries / performance pressures / doubts / frustrations and stress. If at all, you achieve the goal – you will not have PEACE OF MIND!! It means – no Happiness.

6.   Now, the fun starts – you did not get happiness from the goal you achieved just now, so, you set up another goal and go after it!! You think you may get satisfaction/ happiness in new goal. Hollywood actress Elizabeth Taylor married 8 times with a GOAL to be Happy in Marriage!!

7.  Take an example of a Normal Guy - He sets up a goal to earn Rs.50000 per month and he thinks life will be great once he earns that amount. So he works hard and earns that amount. But, he finds that he is still unhappy. So he set up new target for Rs.1 lakh per month. He gets that too but finds he is still unhappy. So, he sets up new target for Rs.2 lakh, and so on. This goes on till he lives or he can earn!! Management consultant can surely take a credit for his economic progress!!  

What is the Meaning of Progress for a normal man?

In my observations and personal consultations with more than 10000 people – deep down in their heart, I have found that average man considers progress as Mental Peace / Joy / Lot of good friends / Love within family and with the society members/ Knowledge / Serenity of mind and good health.

However, in the chakkar of management mis-education & consultants / media and demographic effect – he starts believing money as the only tool to get the above!! He also starts believing that more and more money can give him more and more happiness. What he really wants is all of the above mentioned experiences but he chooses the wrong path!!

How to have obstacles free life?

If you remove your expectations /desires or goals from your life – you will 
get a life without obstacles/frustrations and stress. You will always be happy. You will always be grateful for what you have got. You will feel equally happy for Rs.1 also and Rs.1 lakh also.

An MBA in you will ask me – What will happen to my progress – if I do not have goals/expectations?

Look at Mr.Buffett. He has just celebrated 50^th anniversary of managing his company. He plays his game without expectations and goals. He is always amongst the top three richest in the world. How come?

He follows the simple rule – he invests when the price of the shares is less than the intrinsic value of the shares. He makes the profit the day he invests. E.g. if you buy XYZ which has a fair value of Rs.500 at Rs.400, you have made the profit of Rs.100 today itself!! This situation normally comes when market is down!! So, he buys when other sells.(his basic principle of investments)

When he buys like this, he does not have to wait for the future price gain. That’s why he can say – I am okay if Market closes for 10 years once I have done investments!! He is the living example of life without expectations and he is the RICHEST!!

Last March when Mr.Dilip Sanghvi became the richest Indian, he said I am more interested in my work and I am doing that. I am not concerned with the number game.

My personal Experiences:-

When I am writing this post – I forget the time. I do not worry about who will read it or not. I have no expectations at all. Writing gives me a joy of a mother delivering a baby. For Mother - Baby came that is the reward. Same way – the post came out from me is my biggest reward/biggest happiness. 

Yesterday our daughter Amee scored 94% marks in her 10^th exam. In her case also – we had no goals / no targets / no planning. While many parents were hyper in 9^th and 10^th, we were 100% normal. We had the best of the vacations and personal time during these two years. There were no restrictions for TV / Movies / Hotel / Socializing and Guests coming to our house.

We had the most challenging period of our life during December 2014 to February 2015 ahead of her exam. Since we had no expectations, we were normal all throughout. When unexpected negative events take place, you are down and you need all your energies to deal with that. During such times, if you have your GOALS – you need to divert part of your energies to them and it creates additional stress in your life.

Do not let your happiness dependent on the outcome of any event or your earning. Be happy because you are designed to be happy by nature!!

This is the most important step in Managing Your DESTINY. If your love for Happy + Successful Life is more than just SUCESSFUL LIFE – do join us and follow us.

Have A Great Week Ahead.

Follow me on Twitter @hiteshmparikh or on WhatsApp - +91-9869425399.

Live With Passion…Invest With Passion.

Hitesh Parikh.